


Leaving

by Dirty_Pretty88



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Death, Drama, Gore, Horror, M/M, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-18 08:54:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16115063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dirty_Pretty88/pseuds/Dirty_Pretty88
Summary: He had been a mere businessman when the infection broke out; a son, a brother and a lover. He had been all that and then, it had all been ripped out from beneath him in a mere moment. It was a moment that cost billions of people something; a family, daughter, son, wife, husband, a life.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> First time posting here and I was totally unsure of how to get started or what I should even post. I had an account with LJ; I went by whaffle2006, hadn't written or posted in a long time. A lot of things had changed since, a lot of readers and writers I knew had left LJ. I recently began writing again and wanted to make somewhat of a comeback. Those that had kept in touch had told me to post here and so, here I am.  
> I’m going to begin posting some of my much older, shorter stuff; one shots and whatnot to start myself off. On top of that, a lot of what I’ve written will be going through some rewrites and/or fixes. I just felt like I was so inexperienced in the beginning.  
> So, I hope that you all will enjoy.

He had been a mere businessman when the infection broke out; a son, a brother and a lover. He had been all that and then, it had been ripped out from beneath him in a mere moment. It was a moment that cost billions of people something; a family, daughter, son, wife, husband, a life.

Living the life of looking over your shoulder every moment and sleeping with one eye open; it was exhausting and if not, it drove you to insanity. Because you saw faces everywhere. You saw your family at every turn, on every undead face, you saw them. He saw his mother, father and his brother; he saw them. It never seemed to ease the pain of losing them, despite how they weren’t close; he still cared for his family.

So, here he was; nearly two years after the infection broke out. He was still on his own, armed to the teeth, ready for anything. In two of those years, he’d only met a handful of people, never staying with them long enough to actually get to know any of them. Which he found was the best, because then, he’d never have to go through the pain of losing someone he loved or cared for again.

That was until now.

Running hard through the trees of the forest, hissing as a branch caught him along the face; he kept pushing himself. A large herd of zombies were after him. He had ammo, but not enough to take out all of them. He needed to find someplace to wait them out.

Looking over his shoulder, he cursed under his breath. There were more following after him; all the noise had attracted at least twenty more of them. This wasn’t good at all. Taking out a large combat knife, he jabbed it right through the skull of the nearest one, bone breaking and dead tissue tearing beneath the blade.

Taking a breath, he hurdled over a fallen tree, stumbling and falling. Rolling across the ground and jumping back to his feet in a split second, the action seemingly slowing down all of the walkers. He continued to run across the foliage, trying to get as far ahead as he could; put as much distance between him and the undead.

“Hey!” someone suddenly called out.

Skidding across the dead leaves to a stop, he looked towards the voice, seeing a man with arms above his head waving towards him. Taking a look back the way he had come, making a quick split decision, he ran towards the man. The stranger motioning for him to go down a ladder in the ground; it was some kind of underground shelter.

“Hurry up, c’mon!”

Not giving much more of a thought, he got in not wasting time, slid down the ladder rather than taking it a step at a time. Landing a little clumsily, the man looked up to watch the other latch the door shut and finish climbing down. Leaning over his knees he took the moment to catch his breath before lifting his head and gazing around the very large space. Spotting several other people, they all stared back at him as if trying to dissect what type of person he was. It was rather annoying and uncomfortable, but, it was something that happens when a stranger is pulled into a group of survivors.

“Get him some water,” the guy who had saved him ordered.

A red head stood, with a nod, “sure.”

Jerking slightly as the man pulled him towards a seat and being handed a bottled water, he thanked breathlessly, “thanks.”

“No problem,” he smiled, a lone dimple appearing on the side of his face. “You can call me Kai.”

“Ruki,” he gasped, downing half of the bottle.

“Those guys over there,” he jerked a thumb over his shoulder, to the other people, “Saga.”

The red head lifted his hand with a smile, “hey.”

“That’s Tora.”

“Yo,” a taller black haired man smiled.

“Those two, are Uruha and Aoi,” he pointed, where a dark haired man had his arms wrapped around the honey blonde. Kai then pointed to another couple lying on a bed together, “Shou and Hiroto.”

Nodding to the two pairs of couples, Ruki looked up at Kai, “is this all of you?”

“No,” he shook his head, kneeling beside the man, “I have a brother and then two other people of our group; they’re out hunting, you’ll get to meet them when they get back. So, I guess we can go ahead and make a spot for you,” he said thoughtfully, looking around the space.

“You don’t have to,” Ruki quickly gulped another mouthful of water. “I don’t plan on staying.”

“Well, we’re not going to send you back out there,” Kai argued.

“No, really,” he forced a half hearted smile, “I want to leave.”

“Good, because we definitely don’t plan on feeding another mouth,” a blonde dropped in from the top. The man looked down at Ruki and then he looked to the other, “leave it to you to bring in a stray, baby brother. We saw the herd that came through.”

“We couldn’t leave him out there,” the other argued.

“Sure we could,” he growled, pushing him aside. Swinging a line of gutted and skinned rabbits and squirrels over his shoulder, “we’ve done it with countless others, why would **_he_** be any different?”

Kai frowned when the blonde said that, “maybe you could, but, I couldn’t.”

“I know,” he said softly. Setting the mutilated bodies of the animals on the table, he turned around and stared at Ruki, questioning, “Which way did you come from?”

“North,” he answered.

“How the hell did you make it through the north?” he cocked a brow with surprise.

Taking another quick drink, Ruki gave a condescending snort, “Ran like hell.”

“Just you?” the blonde continued asking.

Nodding, he sighed, “yeah, it’s just me.”

“You must be one hell of a survivor,” he chuckled, turning to his brother. Giving his younger brother a pointed look and then gave a shake of his head, “give him my spot for the night, I’ll be up in the nest for now. Keep an eye out for that herd in case.”

“You can’t, Reita,” Kai gaped, “its nearly fall and its getting cold at night. You’ll get sick if you stay out there all night.”

“I’ll be fine,” he shrugged, going to where his bed was and grabbing another jacket.

“You don’t have to give up your bed,” Ruki spoke up, looking determinedly at the man. He glanced at Kai and then back to the blonde, “I’ll stay up in the nest. It’s just the one night and I’m gone. I don’t want to put anyone out.”

Reita looked at the man for a short moment, a thoughtful, almost annoyed look coming to his face. “Like you said, ‘it’s just one night’. Besides, I feel a lot more at ease where someone in our group can keep an eye on you. A little cold isn’t going to kill me.”

Grimacing tightly as the blonde brushed past with his last remark and climbed up the ladder, he looked to Kai, brow arching, “Is your brother **_always_** this charming and welcoming?”

“Charming?” Shou laughed, sitting up from his bed, “that’s him being civil. Reita being charming is giving you a swift ass kicking and tossing you out into the woods.”

“I think he likes you,” Aoi chuckled, leaning back, “when me and Uruha came to the group, he wasn’t as welcoming with us. If it hadn’t been for Kai, Reita would have thrown us back out on our asses and we’d long been dead.”

Scoffing, he gazed up the ladder. He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t find the man intriguing in his own right and not the less bit attractive. The hostile and distrust of Ruki was well deserved on the blonde’s part. Ruki just didn’t understand the small fact that the group had so easily welcomed him into their folds. He’d never expected or wanted to be welcomed; at all.

“My brother is a little rough around the edges,” Kai smiled in apology. “But, he means well.”

Ruki cocked a brow with a slight smirk, “A little?”

The younger brother laughed, waving off the situation “anyways, take his bed and I’ll go ahead and start dinner.”

Looking to the bedroll that he only assumed belonged to the blonde; Ruki shrugged his bag off and plopped onto the blankets. Groaning softly as he was met with the softness. It had been a very long time since he’d had anything remotely close to a bed. Lying on his side, facing the wall, he fell asleep almost immediately.

Waking up an hour later, mouth watering at the smell of food, Ruki sat up, stretching arms over his head. Satisfied by how well he had slept. It had been far too long since he’s had such a good hours rest.

“You’re awake,” Hiroto smiled, “just in time too. Kai’s just finished with dinner.”

“Hey, Kyo,” Kai called to a man Ruki hadn’t met yet, “can you take this up to Reita?”

“Do it yourself,” the man snapped, turning away.

Frowning, Ruki stood, holding his hand up, “I can take it up to him. It’s the least I can do.”

“Thanks,” the brunette grinned, quickly stuffing the food into a small bag.

Standing from the cot and going towards the younger brother, he could feel the eyes of Kyo and the other man, whose name he had yet to learn. Grabbing his pistol and holstering it on his thigh, Kai telling him where and which tree the nest was up in. He went up the ladder with the food in hand, quietly going to the tree he’d find Reita in.

A quick look around his surroundings and went up the tree, pushing aside the netting to keep the nest hidden from other’s eyes. Finding Reita calmly cleaning his weapons, he cleared his throat, “hey, Kai wanted me to bring this to you.”

The blonde only glanced out of the corner of his eye, continuing to clean the gun. Ruki grimaced, pulling himself the rest of the way up, setting the bag of food next to the blonde. He looked around, seeing what almost felt like the entire forest. It was really a sight from the high spot.

“There something else you need?” Reita grumbled, putting the rifle together with ease.

“Why were you guys so willing to let me stay if you’re so against welcoming in strangers?” the questioned just popped right out. After the brief encounter with the blonde in the beginning and Aoi had explained his own encounter with the man on their arrival, he wondered about the sudden change.

Reita merely glanced at the other out of the corner of his eye. Apparently the man wasn’t going to give Ruki much of an explanation. Biting the inside of his lip, he decided to ask another question; albeit more personal, “Is it just you and Kai?”

The question stopped the blonde in his actions, face tightening, “Yeah, it’s always been us. Anything else you’d like to ask?”

“Did you ever have a girlfriend or wife?”

Reita looked up, eyes narrowing, “what is with the questions? I didn’t agree to this.”

“I had a boyfriend, his name was Takeru,” he smiled grimly. Leaning back on a hand, the brunette stared at his boots with reminiscence, “he was off on a business trip to Chicago and the last I heard from him, he and a handful of survivors were trapped in Wrigley Field. It’s been two years since.”

Reita shuffled slightly, uncomfortable by the sudden confession. A small silence passed between them before he spoke up softly, “a wife. I had been deployed at the time of the breakout and then, they had us all returned to the states to contain the outbreak. I never heard from her during that time, I don’t know if she’s alive or not.”

“Army?” he asked, trying to steer the topic away.

“Marines,” he tilted his head with a smile. Lifting the rifle and keeping it snug against his shoulder, Reita scanned the woods with thoughtfulness, “My enlistment had nearly been up before all of this shit.”

“Marines, huh?”

“Yep,” Reita murmured, continuing to scan the woods.

“So, you’re like their leader?”

“I suppose,” he lowered the rifle, glancing to the man, “you barely met me an hour ago and you want to know my whole life story?”

Breaking off a small twig, continuing to break into more small pieces, he shrugged, “I hadn’t run into anyone else in five months. You’re the first group of people I’ve come across in a while who were a little more willing to let me in, so, getting to talk with someone is kind of nice.”

“Well, I think you came to the wrong person for a talk,” the blonde grumbled. Shaking his head and moving around Ruki to get to the ladder, “I need to go and check some of the bait traps.”

“I’ll come with,” he announced, following the blonde down the ladder.

“No, I don’t need you following me around and yapping my ear off.”

Frowning as the man stalked off, Ruki looked up to the nest and then back to the blonde. He shook his head and went back to the shelter. It was a good thing he was only staying the night, because this would turn out very awkward. And he didn’t need to become caught up in people or even a person.

When morning came, Ruki seemed to be the first to wake. Looking around the space to find that everyone was still fast asleep, he quickly gathered his belongings up. Going to the ladder, only to be yanked back roughly and thrown to the ground. Hissing when the back of his head slammed against the hard concrete, he looked up into the face of a raging Kyo.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” the man hissed, atop and choking the brunette.

Ruki tried shoving the man away as hands around his neck tightened, “leaving- like I said!”

“You’re stealing from us,” he hissed, tightening his hand on the neck.

Gagging as more of his air was cut off, Ruki reached to his thigh, pulling his large combat knife from its sheath. One last gasp for air, he brought his knee up into the man’s side as hard as he could, bringing up the knife and slicing into the arm of Kyo. Coughing out loud as the other released him in shock, he scrambled away as fast as he could.

“What the hell is going on here?” Reita jumped down, glaring between the two. Reaching out and grabbing Ruki, “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Defending myself,” he coughed, gripping the wrist of the blonde. “H-He… attacked first. I was- I was leaving… like I said.”

“Bullshit!” the bleeding man snarled. “He **_was_** stealing from us.”

“Fuck you!” the brunette snapped. Trying to fight out of the hold of the blonde, “I didn’t take shit! I’m going to slit your fucking throat!”

“He’s telling the truth!” Shou shouted, going to Kyo and shoving him back down when he tried to get back to his feet. Turning to Reita who still held Ruki tightly, “Kyo did attack first. Ruki didn’t take anything. He was only leaving like he said.”

Growling, the blonde released Ruki. Going and grabbing Kyo, slamming him up against the wall, “one more chance, Kyo. What the fuck is going on?”

The man coughed, eyes narrowing as he gave his answer, “He was stealing from us.”

The ex-marine bristled and he slammed the man down on the ground, “I’ve fucking had it with you Kyo!”

“I’ve had it with you too, soldier boy!” the man snarled, jerking the hand away. Looking to everyone, he shook his head, “I’m out of here. I don’t need this shit.”

“Go; I don’t fucking care,” Reita shoved the other, “get your shit and get the fuck out of here!”

Ruki could only stand there off to the side. He hadn’t wanted to cause any trouble inside the group, much less, get anyone kicked out; it was far from being the last thing on his mind. Taking a slow step back, clutching his bag tightly as Reita watched the man grab his things; grumbling and cursing under his breath the entire time.

“I-I… I didn’t mean for this-”

Clicking his tongue, Reita shook his head, “don’t worry about it. Kyo was getting on all our damned nerves.” He turned to Shou, giving a nod towards the other man, “make sure he gets out of here, will you?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, smiling to the brunette, “to bad you’ve got to leave. You take care of yourself, Ruki.”

“Thanks,” he gave a nod, turning to the blonde expecting something from him, but, nothing came from him. Giving one look around the shelter, Ruki went up the ladder, “You guys take care too.”

Following the younger man up the ladder, Reita made the decision to walk along with the brunette as far as he felt was safe. Gazing after the shorter male, he cleared his throat, “you know my brother isn’t going to like that you’re leaving.”

Stopping, a brow arching, Ruki spoke slowly, “what are you talking about?”

“He likes you,” he replied nonchalantly, brushing past.

“How can you tell?” he questioned, trailing after the man.

“I’m his older brother,” was the snip answer, “I can tell when he’s got a hard on.”

Rolling his eyes, Ruki was about to make a retort and effectively shut his mouth as he saw the ex-marine take a large combat knife from his boot. Holding his hand up and shushing him softly, suddenly kneeling in the high grass.

Straight away the brunette mimicked the blonde and they both watched as five zombies came out of the brush. Licking his lips, he slipped up beside the blonde, taking his own knife from it’s sheathe. Side glancing the man, they waited in the brush.

One of the walkers caught sight of them and turned their way, he felt Reita jump up and rush the undead, stabbing it right it between the eyes. Letting the body fall to the dirt in a heap, the marine turned to another, having not noticed how nearby one of the zombies were.

Rushing to his feet as well, the brunette quickly rushed the walker that reached for the man, shoving it back and slicing through its face. Turning quickly as another grabbed a hold of his shoulder, he shoved the body back, gasping as a knife flew right past his head; getting coagulated blood all over his face. Ruki glared at the man who shrugged with a smirk.

Yanking the knife out of the skull, tossing it back to its owner, he kicked the last of the walkers back. It fell to the ground with a loud thud; it sluggishly got back up, the brunette went up to it with one stride, plunging the knife into its left eye. Shoving the walker back to the ground, he kneeled to clean the blade of dead flesh on dirtied, bloody clothes.

“You’re not half bad,” Reita murmured, going through the clothing of one of the fresher walkers; making a sound of triumph as he pulled a half pack of cigarette from a pocket, “fuck yes.”

Watching as the blonde patted a cigarette from the soft pack, he asked, “So, was that your way of asking me to stay?”

“I can ask you, but,” he lit the end of the tobacco stick; inhaling deeply, he looked at the other through blonde fringes, “I won’t. It’s a matter of if you’re tired of being on your own. I can tell you’re uneasy about getting close to anyone, especially after what you told me and so, I don’t blame you.”

“So,” he leaned against a tree, “you’re basically telling me, I just got to say I want to stay.”

“Exactly,” he blew smoke through his nose, gazing around the woods. Putting the filtered stick to his lips, Reita paused, looking at the forest floor, “are you tired of being alone?”

Swallowing uneasily, Ruki shrugged. Taking a deep breath and looking up at the sky, replying in a soft murmur, “I don’t know.”

Snorting at the answer, the man inhaled the cigarette; “you think you could take care of him?”

“What?” he was confused by the sudden subject.

“Kai; my brother,” stating softly.

Grimacing with a shake of his head, the brunette gave a snide chuckle, “I ain’t his type and he seems like a nice guy and all but, he ain’t my type either; not in this lifetime anyways.”

Snorting as he blew smoke through his nose, Reita narrowed his eyes, “worlds gone to shit and you’re talking about types; fucking typical. What,” he sneered, flicking the ash off the end, “You waiting on some fucking white picket fence type of guy; like a little virgin.”

“No,” Ruki snapped with a glare. Seeing a flash of a face behind his eyes, he looked away, replying in cynical sarcasm, “I like a badass who think they hot shit.”

Stopping to eye the brunette up and down, the blonde cocked a brow, “Are you trying to flirt with me?”

Rolling his eyes, he stepped up to the taller, plucking the nearly finished cigarette, “You tell me.”

“Look,” he took the cigarette back and stubbed it out, “I’m not in the **_least_** bit impressed by you.”

“Yeah right,” he snorted, “you totally didn’t eye my ass up earlier.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Shorty,” Reita turned away, going towards the nest. Ruki right on his heels as he went up the ladder, he asked derisively, “So, is this your way of saying you’re going to stay with the group?”

“Maybe it is,” Ruki plopped down, setting his bag off to the side.

Laughing, the blonde took the sniper rifle, scanning the forest with the scope. While the brunette leaned back against the tree, staring at the other until Reita couldn’t take it, “will you fucking stop that.”

“What?” he asked innocently.

“Stop eye raping me, it’s not going to happen.”

“What?” he snapped, using the man’s words against him, “You waiting on some fucking white picket fence type of guy?”

“White picket fence my ass,” he snorted, taking another cigarette and lighting it up, “I think I’d prefer a chick who wants a good fuck, but, my options are limited.”

Frowning slightly, he asked in disappointment, “So, you’re a straight shooter?”

Laughing loudly, Reita eyed the man out of the corner of his eye, “you sound disappointed.”

“I am,” Ruki looked away. Pressing his lips into a firm line, he shrugged, “guess I’ll take my things back down.”

“Kai will be happy,” he murmured, watching the brunette climb down.

Stopping in motion, giving the man a look before going down the ladder; he went to the manhole in time to see Kyo come out. The both of them staring each other down, before the man shoved past him, disappearing off into the woods. Ruki still felt guilty about getting the man kicked out, but, in the back of his mind, he thought the other deserved it.

Jumping off the ladder, he turned and smiled at everyone, “guess I’m staying.”

“Reita convinced you into staying?” Aoi sat up shocked.

“Not exactly,” he shrugged, setting his bag down, “but, close enough.”

“He must **_really_** like you,” Hiroto laughed.

Lowering his head when the man had said that, Ruki momentarily wondered if the act Reita was putting up was no more than hiding what he really felt and thought. The way the man spoke to him and even looked at him, he could see there was a lot he was hiding under the tough exterior, unlike his brother who seemed to wear it on his sleeve. Upon the thought of the younger brother, he faced Kai, seeing the pure joy in the man’s eyes.

“So, where should I make myself comfortable?”

“Not by me, that’s for damned sure,” the last man whose name Ruki still wasn’t aware of.

“Oh come off,” Shou snapped, throwing a pillow at the man’s head. Turning to the brunette with a grin, “Toshiya’s had an eye on Reita’s ass since he’s come to the group. That tough guy persona, it’s just a way to try and get his attention.”

“I’m glad you decided to stay,” Kai walked up, smiling.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

It took some time to adapt to being part of the group, but, eventually he did. It was uncomfortable at the same time, because by then, Kai had began to show more interest in him. While he showed more interest in the older brother, who ignored him and stayed far away. In fact, Reita tried keeping his distance by staying out of the shelter as well as keeping a wide berth whenever they were forced to be in close proximity.

It was the small things about the blonde marine that Ruki found himself attracted to. The leadership role that had been thrust upon him as the group grew. The way Reita would put the group before himself, he found himself admiring that about the blonde and so, that’s when he found himself trying to spend time with him.

Of course, all his advances were rejected by the blonde, that it kind of infuriated him. So, he decided to play a different game by trying to make him jealous. He didn’t like that he’d resorted to such a petty thing, but, for some reason, he was desperate for the man.

One night he and Kai had stayed up late talking; they talked of their lives before the zombie apocalypse. They shared stories of what happy memories they had. Suddenly, the younger brother had tugged Ruki to him, kissing him softly.

It hadn’t surprised Ruki that the other had made the first move and with the lack of human contact he’s had, the only thing he could think of in that moment _is_ and _was_ getting off. Shifting slightly, so he could quickly unbutton his pants, Kai doing the same; they took each other’s cocks into their hands. Stroking one another unhurriedly, he moaned into the man’s neck.

Remaining quiet as possible, as not to rouse their roommates, the brunette clutched onto a shoulder with a hand, while stroking with is other steadily. He panted heavily and groaned against slick sweaty neck. And then he heard him. He heard the blonde coming down the ladder and immediately, he let loose a loud moan. The shuffling of boots stopped for a moment, before Reita quickly did what he needed to do and went back up.

Letting out a soft groan, Ruki panted softly, “faster.”

Stroking the brunette faster, he kissed and bit him along the neck, asking him huskily, “You like that?”

Releasing another groan, he nodded, “yes.”

Their hands quickened that familiar build of pressure made the hair on his neck stand up in pleasure. He was close, so close to oblivion. Jerking his hips against the movement, Kai doing the same, he gave a strangled, muffled cry as he came into the hand; the man following him shortly with an almost quiet groan.

Taking deep breaths to calm the rapid beating of his hear and the pulsing blood in his ears, Ruki made sure to keep his eyes down as he fixed his pant. Sitting back against the wall, gazing up at the ceiling listening to the quiet breaths of Kai and then, he shifted and lain beside him. Still, Ruki did not look at the other, feeling dirty and just absolutely guilty for where they currently were.

Waiting for several minutes until he was sure the younger brother had fallen asleep, he had wriggled quietly from his side. Slipping his boots and a jacket on, he looked at the others for a moment; he went up the ladder. Quietly shutting the door to the shelter, he went through the trees swiftly to the nest. Climbing the ladder to find the blonde wrapped in a blanket, staring at nothing.

“What?”

Taking a deep breath, Ruki crawled to the man, straddled him and kissed him harshly. He had half expected the man to shove him away, but, when the kiss was returned as heatedly, he groaned into the mouth.

Gloved hands were on his hips swiftly, gripping him tightly. Mouths moved feverishly, he whimpered every time the gloved fingers ghosted over the flesh peeking from beneath his shirt, letting the crisp autumn air hit his heated flesh. Suddenly, he was yanked back, the blonde panting harshly.

Their hot breath created soft, wispy steam clouds. Reita lifting and setting Ruki’s body off to the side of himself, his voice heavy as he demanded, “leaves.”

“What?” he panted, reaching back to the man.

Shoving the hand away, he took a deep breath, ordering much louder, “leave.”

Swallowing, Ruki shook his head, “Reita, you-”

“Get. The FUCK, away,” he growled, taking another deep breath.

The ex-marine rubbed his face tiredly. Glancing out of the corner of his eye at the man he had just passionately made out with, the man who hadn’t so much as moved an inch. Scowling tightly, he rolled his eyes as he went to make a move to get around the brunette. Only to be shoved back and the man straddled him again, kissing him heatedly once more.

Groaning against the sweet mouth of Ruki, he sat up and held the other closer. Growling gutturally when the ass of the man put just the right pressure against his dick. That snapped him out of his stupor, he gripped the wrists of the brunette tightly; taking deep puffs of breath as he pushed the body away and went down the ladder.

“Reita,” Ruki called, following the man down. Running after him as he walked into the woods, “Reita, wait; where are you going?”

“Away from **_you_** ,” he snapped.

“Why-why-”

“You know what,” he whirled around shoving Ruki back, “this isn’t happening. Not after I had just heard you and Kai; I’m not going to do this.”

Mouth falling open, Ruki shook his head, “I-I… I know it’s wrong.”

“ ** _Wrong_**?” Reita laughed in disbelief. Running both hands through his hair, he threw his hands up, “I-I… I cannot fucking believe you. Not fucking twenty minutes ago, you were just with my brother and you come up… a-and try to-get me to fuck you!”

“What happened with Kai, just… i-it just happened,” he argued.

“I’m not playing your fucking manipulative shit,” he snarled, shoving him back again. Taking two steps back, face still contorted with fury, “you don’t get to fuck with my brother’s emotion. You don’t get to fuck with him and think that’s going to give you some leverage to fuck with **_me_**.”

“Reita,” he tried again, going toward the blonde.

“Don’t,” he took another step back, “Don’t fucking **_touch_** me.”

The blonde turned on his heels, disappearing into the woods. Ruki shoulders fell with immense guilt. Releasing a heavy sigh, he went back to the bomb shelter, going to his separate makeshift bed and fell asleep uneasily.

“What the fuck do you mean he’s gone?”

Literally jumping out of bed when he heard whoever screams, Ruki looked about the shelter blearily, but, slightly wide eyed. Yawning, he asked, “What’s going on?”

“Reita’s gone,” they all answered.

“What?” he gaped, looking to Kai to find him on the verge of crying. Turning to Aoi and Uruha, he shook his head in denial, “no; he-he’s just… this is some fucking joke.”

“He’s gone,” Shou murmured, holding a piece of paper out, “left this.”

Ripping it from the man, he read it over quickly. Feeling that guilt hit him again, he looked up at Kai, gazing at him apologetically. What Reita had written seemed believable, but, he knew the real reason as to why. The man had left because of him.

“He went west,” Aoi sighed, sitting on his and Uruha’s bed. “I can’t believe he left.”

“He’s ex-marine,” Kai shrugged, slowly sitting down as well, “my brother’s always believed that he belonged on the frontlines.”

“How does he know that they’ve still got the armed forces fighting the infection?” Uruha questioned softly, looking around the solemn faces, “How the hell would he even know or where to even go?”

“He doesn’t,” Toshiya stated, rubbing his eyes, “the army had fallen apart before they could begin containment.”

“This is just fucking ridiculous,” Ruki snapped, looking at all the other men, “it’s suicidal to go looking for something that **_doesn’t_** exist.”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Kai spoke up, giving everyone a look. Taking a deep breath, he slowly sat down, “if he thinks that there could possibly be a form of the government left, I completely stand behind him on his decision. I don’t like that he’s gone, but, he’s taken care of us long enough.”

Staring at Kai disbelievingly, Ruki quickly stood and left the shelter. Going to the nest Reita had fondly spent all his time in, getting to the top and finding the entire place cleaned of the blonde. Licking his lips, he sat crossed legged in the middle of the makeshift nest. Staring out at the top of the trees, feeling lost and guilty; this was why he never stayed with a group.

Someone **_always_** left.


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stopping at the creek bed, he pulled a bottle from his bag and began to fill it up. Keeping his ears strained to listen to his surroundings, staying ready at any sound. The faint melody of birds chirping to one another and the faint rustling of foliage as animals scurried about.

Stopping at the creek bed, he pulled a bottle from his bag and began to fill it up. Keeping his ears strained to listen to his surroundings over the sound of the creek, staying ready at any sound. The faint melody of birds chirping to one another and the faint rustling of foliage as smaller animals scurried about.

It had been nearly three weeks since he left his brother and the group; there were days he regretted his decision, but then, he felt he needed to. Having done well on his own so far, that was only because of his intensive training as a marine. He had found that hunting just for him was far simpler than trying to hunt for ten and more people; coming across a large animal was rare.

Packing the bottle away, Reita stood, gazing around. The nights were definitely colder and building a fire wasn’t the best of options at night; it drew the undead like moths. Having to make his food in the daylight, risking other humans and raiders toward his position, but, it was better than being swarmed by walking corpses.

Pulling his scarf up over his nose, he climbed up out of the ditch; the air had gotten much colder in the last day. Waking to a small bit of frost every morning was a reminder to him that soon, winter will be upon him and he needed to find someplace to keep low. The winter will be harsh for him and he was sure, that it would be hard for his brother and the others.

On the same hand, he was sure they’d be fine. The other’s knew what to do and where to go; how often to rotate out the bait traps.

Walking along a worn path, Reita stopped and kneeled, looking at the trail. Finding human boot prints, a large group of people; brushing aside some leaves and sticks, he studied it closely. Guessing the tracks to be at least three days old; lifted his head, he was getting close to a settlement of survivors.

The thought made him anxious. Not a lot of survivors took to travelers; a lot of these groups themselves were as ruthless as lone travelers. He needed to keep far from settlements.

Freezing when he heard a twig snap and the faint rustling of leaves, the blonde lowered himself to his knees, pulling a large combat knife from his boot readying himself. Crawling towards a tree and peering around it; keenly, he watched the forest for any type of movement. The birds quieted with the faint movement and he knew it was something dangerous.

Reita had to get out of there. Would it be more humans or walkers, it didn’t matter. Slowly backing away, keeping as low to the ground as possible, he avoided the trail and went through the bare bushes. Doing his best to keep from making as much noise as possible, it almost felt like it didn’t matter, because even breathing felt loud to his ears.

When he felt he was far enough, he sprinted through the trees. All that mattered in the back of his mind was to run; get far away from there as fast as possible. Run and don’t look back, don’t stop, just keep running.

Suddenly, there was a loud gunshot. Reita instinctively dropped to the ground; a large chunk of the tree just ahead of him splintering into pieces. He immediately looked over his shoulder, cursing under his breath, “shit, this can’t be happening.”

Hearing another loud shot, keeping low to the ground, he looked around him. Searching for an escape route, he wanted to avoid conflict all together; he didn’t want trouble. He gave another quick glance over his shoulder still not spotting anyone or anything, the ex-marine shot up and serpentined as a way to avoid taking a bullet to a part of his body.

Another bullet whizzed over him, making him duck his head. Stumbling over his feet and regaining his footing immediately, Reita ran for his life. Another bullet flying past him, hitting the tree to his left and sending splinters of wood into his line of sight. Eyes squeezed tightly, to keep the tiny pieces out of his eyes, it being his downfall as his foot caught up on something and tumbled to the ground with a grunt.

Shaking his head and shoving himself up, he looked down at his foot. He’d been caught up in some barbwire. Almost frantically, he tried to get the wire from around his ankles. The barbed points ripping through his jeans and scratching up and down his legs, he hissed. The points tore through his gloves.

“Hey!” someone shouted.

Turning his instinctively to the voice, Reita’s head snapped back to the other side as he was struck with something hard. Falling back to the ground with an almost dull thud, his entire vision beginning to spin; head throbbed because of the impact. Feeling something trickling down his face as his vision darkened at the edges and it faded all too black.

~*~*~

Jolting out of bed, looking around wildly, Ruki breathed heavily. Sweat trickling down the sides of his face; he leaned over, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. Running both hands through his oily hair, he glanced up at the other bodies. Noticing that Aoi was missing from the bed across from him, only to remember, it was his turn to keep watch.

Flopping back against the makeshift bedding, wiping away the rest of the sweat on his brow, Ruki inhaled deeply and released slowly. It had been like that for the last three weeks; since Reita had up and left the group. He’d been getting less and less sleep, constantly worried about the blonde. Hoping the blonde would just decide to come back to the group.

Wondering day in and day out wither the man was still alive. Had he been swarmed by a herd of walkers and eaten or had he been ganged by other survivors. Had the blonde been mugged by others and left for dead?

Groaning as if suddenly someone had flipped a switch in his head, the brunette was wide awake; rolling onto his side with a huff, Kai came into his view. A slow frown formed on his lips. Ever since that day, he and Kai hadn’t been the same. They barely talked; barely spent any time together.

And in way, Ruki felt that the other knew of his attraction towards Reita. Not only because he had become distant since that day but because he could never look him in the eyes. Because no matter what, he felt responsible for what had happen. He’d feel responsible if the man had been killed because of him.

It was something horrible to live with. Reita was gone and he was to blame.

“Ruki,” he faintly heard Kai call to him.

Looking up at the man on his bed roll, he smiled, “sorry, did I wake you?”

“You okay?”

Rubbing his neck, he nodded, “yeah, I just… I just haven’t been sleeping very well.”

“You hadn’t been able to sleep at all,” the other murmured quietly.

“I know I haven’t,” he sat back up, rolling his head.

“You miss him,” Kai mumbled, sitting on the open space of the bed. He looked at his hands, twiddling his thumbs thoughtfully, “I miss him too.”

“He’s your brother,” Ruki shrugged, as if the conversation wasn’t all that big, “from the sound of things, the two of you were close.”

Smiling, Kai nodded, “me and Reita have been inseparable. Hadn’t exactly grown up with green grass and white picket fence, so, he took it upon himself to watch over me. Our dad abandoned us a little after I was born and it-can’t say it was easy for our mom.”

“I can’t imagine it being easy,” Ruki commented softly, bringing both his knees to his chest, “so, Reita was the protective kind of brother.”

“Yeah, he was,” he laughed, scratching his head. Getting a slight gaze in his eyes as he began to reminisce their childhood. “Reita-he didn’t make the best decisions when he was in high school.”

Becoming interested by the small bit of news, the brunette eagerly asked, “What do you mean?”

“Reita was more than just a little bit of trouble maker,” Kai laughed again, only this time, it was more an embarrassed laughed. Scooting back and leaning against the wall, he got a far off look, “he got into a lot of fights during school, only because I got picked on. He even did a little drug dealing for the extra cash and since he liked fighting, he got into underground fight clubs; which was pretty stupid of him.”

“He sounds like he was quite the rebel,” Ruki smirked at the thought. Looking up to the side of the man’s face, he tilted his head in thought, “so, how did he meet his wife?”

“His wife?”

Frowning, he nodded slowly, “yeah, he said- he told me that he was married.”

Looking down thoughtfully, Kai bit his lip. Carefully thinking it over and as if suddenly remembering, he laughed, “Yeah, I forgot about Emily. Married his sweetheart right out of high school, it didn’t last though… maybe at least six years, if even that.”

“Why didn’t it last? I mean, he made it seem like… they were happy,” he said almost shocked.

Smile falling, the younger brother sighed, “I mean, yeah, but, they’re marriage was long over before it even started. I mean, you know how it is. Falling in love so young and so fast, you don’t even know the person truly.”

“That’s a little harsh,” Ruki grimaced.

“You wouldn’t say that, if you truly knew the type of woman he had been married to,” Kai glared at the ground, the thought angering him. The man huffed angrily, “They fought a lot; well, she wanted to fight with him a lot. Blamed him for a lot of things and liked to play the victim. I never liked being around her and neither did our mom but, we put up with Emily for the sake of Reita.”

“Damn,” he muttered under his breath. “This woman sounds like a real piece of work.”

Taking a breath and letting it go, the younger brother ran a hand through his hair, “As soon as Reita was able to, he joined the Marines; was gone a lot, for training and whatnot. The entire time though, that fucking bitch- that whore was-”

Blinking, he didn’t have to really question what Kai was trying to tell him, he knew what he was trying to say and so, he said it out loud for him. “She’d been cheating on him the entire time.”

“Yeah, she’d been fucking around on him with her boss. And then, well, he got deployed and shit just- she-” Giving a groan as he rubbed his face, “even after she’d been caught by mom, she kept cheating on him; even after she told Reita about it.”

“What a fucking bitch,” the brunette muttered under his breath. Biting on his lip, he couldn’t believe that this woman would do something like this to someone; granted he hadn’t known Reita long enough but what he’d heard of him from Kai over the few weeks, the marine sounded like a great person.

Fists clenching, Ruki hissed, “I didn’t think I’d be able to hate anyone as much as I hate this woman right now.”

Laughing loudly, nodding, Kai sighed, “yeah. I know right? But, even after that, he stayed married to her. I didn’t understand why, asked him and all he said was, ‘I just choose to stay for all the things she’s done right and not for the one thing she had done wrong’.”

“Did she die during the breakout?”

“We don’t know,” he shrugged, picking at his nails. “I think there’s a part of Reita that hopes she survived the breakout. He’d always tried to see the good in Emily, I think mostly because in high school, he was absolutely head over heels for her. He truly believes; hell, he probably convinced himself she was the one.”

Eyes lowering, Ruki suddenly felt like he couldn’t win. The marine obviously had a lot of love for the woman, despite her promiscuous ways; a woman he chose to forgive. And to hear that Reita hoped his wife had survived, it was blow.

“You need to try and get some sleep,” Kai yawned, lying back on his bed.

“Yeah, sure,” he said softly, rolling onto his side.

Thoughts becoming plagued by the faceless woman, a woman who he believed and felt didn’t or hadn’t truly loved Reita at all. But then again, Reita had turned around and forgave the woman; forgave her for the most horrible thing a person could do, to someone they were supposed to love. A person who was supposed to be their family and suddenly, Ruki felt determined to go after Reita; to find him.

Getting up, he began gathering his belongings up and stuffing it into a pack. Grabbing water and food, he went towards the ladder, beginning to climb as quickly and quietly as he could. He didn’t get very far, stopping when he heard Shou.

“What are you doing Ruki?”

Licking his lips and dropping back off the ladder, he looked to him and the rest of the group who were now staring at him in confusion. Sighing, tightened his grip on the strap, speaking up determinedly, “I’m going to go and look for Reita; convince him to come back to the group.”

“Ruki,” Uruha began, glancing at everyone’s faces with a shake of his head, “he **_wanted_** to leave. There is no point in looking for him and convincing him to come back.

“We’re supposed to be his family,” He snapped, “We’re supposed to watch out for each other. That’s what we’re supposed to be; letting him walk away like that, you all know we shouldn’t have let him just walk out.”

“My brother wanted to-”

“He didn’t!” he finally screamed. Biting  the inside of his cheek hard, Ruki ran a hand through his hair as he leaned against the ladder, “he really didn’t want to leave. He just thought it would be best, because of me.”

It seemed like all the air was sucked from the room, each one of them gave each other a confusing look; Tora was the first to speak up, “what do you mean?”

Swallowing, Ruki looked away, not wanting to see either one of their expressions, “he left, because of me. I-” Rubbing his neck tiredly and just utterly guilty, he sighed, “I hit on him, to put it simply.”

Kai’s shoulders tensed immediately, the look on his face stunned; he tried to laugh but it came out forced, “what do you mean, you hit on him?”

“That night,” he kept his eyes averted towards the ground, hating himself with the more he spoke, “me and you. Right after, I had gone up to-we made out a little and right after, he told me off; basically.”

“You-” the younger began, only he couldn’t really say more.

Before Ruki knew it, Toshiya was in his face, shoving him hard against the ladder. Gasping in pain, he didn’t bother trying to fight back, because he knew he deserved it. Releasing his bag, he looked up at the man. The brunette scowled, daring the other to hurt him.

“Letting you stay was a fucking mistake,” he hissed, giving the man another shove. “I knew-”

“Toshiya, let him go,” Saga stood quickly, pulling the other off of the man. Shoving him away from Ruki, keeping space between to the two, “look, shit happens. It’s just Ruki had the balls to make a move on him, unlike someone I know.”

“At least I didn’t get with one brother before trying to get with the other,” he sneered before stalking off to the far side of the bunker.

“Dick,” the light haired man said under his breath. Turning to Ruki and gripping him by the shoulder, smiling, “I’m coming with you.”

“Thank you,” Ruki whispered. Eyes falling on Kai, he bit his lip; he tried apologizing to the other, “I’m sorry Kai. I-I… hadn’t-didn’t want this to happen; I honestly didn’t.”

“You used me,” the other replied softly.

“I didn’t- I wasn’t,” he tried to explain but knew; he knew that it would just be a lie. Shoulders sagging, Ruki tried to smooth things over, “I-I’m so sorry Kai. None of this- I just- hurting you or anyone was the last thing on-”

Kai snapped at the brunette, “Go fuck yourself.”

Flinching back at the harshness and the intense glare of the younger brother, Ruki had gave a hesitant nod, averting his eyes, Ruki went up the ladder. As he climbed out of the bunker, he had bumped right into Aoi who quickly steadied the shorter body.

The man looked utterly perplexed by the sight of the brunette, “what are you doing Ruki?”

“I’m going to go look for Reita.”

“Ruki,” the elder sighed, shifting his feet, “I don’t think that’s a good idea to go by yourself.”

“He’s not,” Saga came up out of the ground, looking over his shoulder to Uruha who climbed out as well, “we’ll be going with him.”

“Uruha,” Aoi went to the honey blonde. “Are you sure about this?”

The man cupped the other’s face, giving him a soft kiss, “it’ll be fine. We’ll watch each other’s back, if we can’t catch up with Reita or pick up a trail, we’ll come back.”

Frowning, the man look to all three’s face, seeing the determination. Turning back to his own lover, he held up a finger, “one week. You get one week and you get your asses back here, got that?”

“Yeah,” the shorter nodded.

~*~*~

Jolting awake with an ice cold wake up call, Reita sputtered out water. Shaking his head of wetness, he looked around wildly, completely dazed and confused of his surroundings. His hands were bound tightly in front of him. Suddenly, everything began to spin slightly and his temple throbbed. He caught himself before falling to the ground.

Reaching up, his fingers grazed the angry, swollen wound on the side of his head; holding out his hand, he found some slightly crusted blood. Groaning, he finally looked to the cause of his wake up call. There stood a middle aged man, gripping an empty water bucket tightly.

Scowling at the sight of the man, he growled, “what?”

“Where is he?”

Head tilting in confusion, Reita drawled, “Who?”

“My son; where is he!”

“I don’t know who or what the fuck you’re talking about!” he shouted right back at the man.

The man growled, throwing the bucket into a wall. Pointing an accusing finger at the blonde, “I want to know what you did with my son!”

Rolling his eyes, Reita looked about the space, noticing it was a small shack. Turning his attention back to his captor, he lowered his voice dangerously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just passing through the area; I don’t know a damned thing about your son. Your son’s disappearance has nothing to do with me.”

“He’s telling the truth,” another voice spoke up.

The marine looked to the side of the shack, in the shadows, eyes widening with shock. It was a split moment before he felt rage build up inside of him at the sight of the dusty brown haired man, Reita spoke up darkly, “I had really hoped that the walkers would have got to you or at least that you were one of them. Guess next time, I’ll have to hope a little harder, right, Josh?”

“That makes the two of us,” the man remarked.

Snorting, Reita struggled with the wire bound tightly around his hands. Jaw tightening, he looked to the two men, “now that’s been straighten, give me my shit and let me walk the fuck out of here. Your problems aren’t my problems.”

There were sudden loud knocks on the door of the shed; his two captors glanced at one another, apparently they weren’t expecting another person. The blonde watched as Josh turned to go and answer it. Turning away, Reita looked about, trying to find something he could use to cut through his binds; anything to help get them off or to even help him slip them off. But, the shack had been emptied of anything that could be used.

“Reita,” he heard a woman gasp.

Freezing, he a part of him wanted ignore the call of that familiar voice and the other part, had to see the woman. Slowly turned to the voice, a cold creeping deep into his bones at the sight of the woman, feeling almost frightened. There stood a woman with short cropped light brown hair, tan skin and almond shaped brown eyes.

Opening his mouth slightly, wanting to voice out words; anything but he couldn’t. He was utterly shaken by what he was seeing. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that this woman stood right before him.

“Reita,” she smiled, going towards the bound man. Kneeling, she cupped his face, tears falling, she laughed breathily, “I knew you were alive. I’ve always known that you were alive out there.”

Brows furrowing at her words, he looked between her and Josh. A part of him felt like he needed to point out the obvious but he just couldn’t find the exact words to speak to her. He wasn’t all that sure of what he was supposed to feel; was it supposed to be joy, was it supposed to anger? The man didn’t know.

“Emily,” Josh spoke up, glaring at Reita, “c’mon, let’s go.”

Glancing back at the man quickly, she gave a small nod; turning back to Reita. Smiling, she leaned in and placed a quick kiss to his cheek. Standing, she followed Josh out of the shack.

“I’ll keep you here for the night,” the elder man spoke, kneeling behind the blonde and quickly undoing the metal binds. He stood and took quick steps back, “You’ll get your weapons and supplies in the morning; you’ll be free to go.”

Rubbing his wrists of the soreness, he kept his head lowered, “thanks.”

“What does she mean to you?” he suddenly asked.

Giving a shake of his head, Reita turned his focus to a piece of jewelry on his left hand with dead gaze, “nothing now.”

“What did she used to mean?”

Shoulders falling slightly, he removed the ring as he gave the man a short, bitter reply, “everything.”

“I’m guessing she’s your wife?”

“Was,” he mumbled under his breath, going to a wall and leaning against it. “Before all of this, she had been. Now, now she’s just another person.”

The man gave Reita a look, an unreadable look. Turning away with a heavy sigh, he nodded and suddenly turned back around, holding his hand out, “You can call me J.”

Glancing at the hand and back to the face, the blonde took the hand, “Reita.”

“You don’t have to take the offer now, but,” J began, releasing the other, “you’re more than welcome to stay.”

Immediately, Reita shook his head, looking to the shed door, “no, better if I move on.”

“I’ll have my wife pack some heavier clothes and extra food for you,” J smiled, going towards the door and opening it.

“How old is your son?” Reita questioned suddenly.

Barely turning his head to look over his shoulder, the elder hesitantly answered, “he’s twelve.”

Looking down, feeling bad for how young the son was, he offered up words, “I hope you find him.”

“Thank you,” J smiled, shutting the door.

Sighing heavily, Reita looked around the small shack. He supposed he could make a night of getting some much needed sleep. It would be the first and most likely the last place he wouldn’t be forced to sleep on the ground or up in the tree; one last warm place.

Looking to the cot and the itchy looking blankets, he grimaced, “better than nothing I guess.”

~*~*~

Stopping, in a small clearing, Ruki looked about the foliage, looking for any type of sign. They had been on the search for two days and he could tell Saga and Uruha were beginning to tire. He had wanted to keep on the move but he knew they needed to rest. So, they had stopped to take a breather.

Sitting on a stump, he pulled a water bottle from his pack. Taking a large drink from the opening with a gasp, he sighed, “When do you guys want to make camp?”

Uruha looked to the sky, “well, I’d say we’ve got about six hours left of day light. How about we try and find some where we can hold up for the night and search the area for anything of use.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” Saga hummed, looking to Ruki for confirmation.

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking around the woods. Suddenly, something in the distance caught his eyes and he hissed, “Get down.”

All three men dropped to the ground, the gold weeds providing just enough cover for them. Keeping silent as they listened to heavy booted footfalls of the bodies and from what they could tell, it was small group of at least five. The group spoke in low voices as if not to attract any unwelcomed visitors.

They looked to each other, wordlessly questioning if they should go to the people. Swallowing, Ruki went to stand; Saga suddenly yanking him back down. The man shook his head, silently telling him no; not to announce their position. They decidedly had agreed on waiting until they couldn’t hear them anymore. Uruha the first to lift his head above, eyes scanning the area carefully. Nodding to the others, they stood.

“I suggest we get out of here,” Saga rushed to his things, slinging it over his shoulder, “they might come back around and it’d be best if we weren’t here. We don’t know if these people can be trusted.”

“We could say the same of you.”

Freezing, they all put their hands up at the distinct sound of the guns safety being released; it made their blood run cold. The heavy foots of one of the men went towards Ruki, the barrel of his gun nudging against the back of the brunette’s neck. The younger kept his eyes straight, even as the man leaned into his space.

“Lookie how pretty this one is,” they laughed.

“Don’t you fucking touch him,” Uruha suddenly snarled.

“It’s okay,” Ruki swallowed.

“Hey, we’ve got a herd coming this way, we need to go now!”

“Shit,” the man cursed, taking Ruki by the shoulder and shoving him towards his things, “get your stuff and let’s go. Ya’ll are coming with us, now move!”

Rushing for their things, they followed after the men. In the distant they could hear the sounds of the dead, they picked up their pace to a fast jog. Ruki doing his best to keep up with them, but with how much travelling they had done and the little sleep had been getting the last few weeks, he was absolutely exhausted.

Foot catching on an up lifted root, he fell into the dirt. Someone helping him back up with a smile, “you alright?”

“Yeah,” he breathed heavily.

“Here, let me carry that,” the man suddenly offered, taking the bag from the other.

Smiling meekly, Ruki handed his bag over, keeping a hold of his weapons. Eyes widening as he saw a walker coming up behind the man, acting on instinct, he shoved the other out of the way. Charging the corpse and sliced clean through the skull with his combat knife; the zombie snapped its jaw a moment before falling.

“Look out behind you!”

Turning around, he shoved the blade into the side; kicking the body back. Running to the man and helping him back to his feet, Ruki pushed him, “go, go!”

 They all ran towards the rest of the group, when one of the men suddenly pulled his hand gun out, another of the members beside him yelling, “No! Just fucking run! Don’t use the gun, just run!”

“Where are we going?” Ruki panted, doing everything to keep up with the rest of the group.

“We’ve got a settlement not far from here,” the stranger panted out, slowing down and taking the brunette by the hand. “C’mon, you’ve got to keep up.”

Nodding, Ruki swallowed. His throat and chest burned from the exertion. Running and jumping over fallen trees was a sport in itself. He stumbled over his feet once more, the tight hold on his hand keeping him from falling. Getting yanked harshly, he regained his footing.

“C’mon, keep up,” the man hissed.

“I’m trying,” he gasped.

Coming to a clearing, Ruki looked up at a large fence, surrounding a small like town. Suddenly, the gates opened up and he watched as three more men came out, each one of them carrying a makeshift flame throwers. Not getting chance to look at his surroundings, the man took him by the shoulder and shoved him past, leading him into the town.

The heavy gates fell closed behind them and Ruki collapsed to the ground out of breath. His lungs felt like they were on fire. His legs felt heavy. Trying to remember the last time he’s had to outrun a herd like that. It been since he was taken in by Reita and the group.

“Is everyone okay?”

Saga looked up, trying to catch his own, “yeah; yeah we’re fine.”

“So, what are we calling you three?” the stranger questioned, staring at Ruki.

“Saga,” he started first, giving a nod towards the other two men still trying to catch their breaths, “that’s Uruha and Ruki.”

“The name’s J,” he held a hand out to Ruki.

Giving the hand a skeptical look, he hesitantly took it, giving a firm shake. Releasing the hold, he got back to his feet; gazing around the small town. It had a small hotel, a few houses and mobile homes.  And slowly, he watched as people trickled out of these places, coming to stare at the strangers.

Licking his lips, he looked to J, “just to let you know, we don’t plan on staying.”

“You’re not the first I’ve heard that from,” the elder chuckled, patting the other on the shoulder, “I heard that countless times and they’ve all stayed.”

“We’re looking for someone,” he spoke up, “we can’t stay.”

“It won’t hurt to stay for the night,” the other offered, taking his eyes away from the brunette and looking at them all. “You need to gather up your strength and get a good night’s rest; I can see that you all are on your last leg.”

“He’s right Ruki,” Uruha looked to the shorter.

Biting his lip, he stared at his friends. Feeling defeated, he looked to the man, nodding. Watching as a smile spread on his face.

J turned to another man, “has the other group got back yet?”

“Not yet,” the shook he shook his head.

“C’mon, let me show where you three will be staying.”

Taking his bag from the ground, Ruki followed after Saga and Uruha. Being led through the town towards the motel, which was a ways from the town square. Ignoring the looks he was being given, keeping his head low.

“I got two rooms left,” J announced, pointing to the far doors, “You guys can decided who shares with whom.”

“I and Uru can share,” Saga winked at Ruki, going to a room, the blonde following after him.

“Fine by me,” he muttered, going towards the room; feeling the intense eyes of J on him.

“C’mon back to the square in an hour,” J smiled, leaning against a pole, “we’ll be having dinner soon.”

“Food!” he heard Saga shout from the room.

“Thanks,” Ruki forced a smile, “I got my own dinner.”

Walking into the room and shutting it without another word, he threw his bags on the verily clean chair and flopped onto the bed. Momentarily thinking at least the blankets were clean; he curled up on his side and fell asleep. Getting the much needed sleep he had been needing for days.

“Where’s Ruki?” the honey blonde asked, looking around the crowd of people.

“He said he wasn’t hungry,” Saga murmured.

“That’s a fucking lie,” snorting as he took a large bite of his food.

“I’ll have someone take him some food later,” J came up to the pair, sitting across from them with a smile. Giving a nod towards their plates of food, “how’s it?”

“Delicious,” Saga smiled, taking a bite of his bread, “you wouldn’t believe how long it’s been since we’ve had bread.”

“Well, what is ours is yours for the time you’re here,” he smiled.

“J,” someone suddenly called to the man, “they’re back.”

“About fucking time,” he stood, going towards the gates that opened.

Soon, the entire town was in a commotion with the return of the group of men. Saga and Uruha stood, curious of what was going on and they followed after the group. Staying towards the back as people began to murmur excitedly, Saga tiptoed to look over heads.

“What’s going on?” Uruha asked a woman beside him.

“They found him,” she answered excitedly.

Looking to Saga who gave a shrug, they went to walk back towards their room, a voice stopping them. “What the hell are you two doing here?”


	3. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stared hard at the two men in front of him. Beyond stunned that they were here, in the same settlement as him and then, it made him wonder who else was there. With that thought, he looked around, spotting no other familiar face. He glared once more at the two men, who both stared back at him in just as much shock.

He stared hard at the two men in front of him. Beyond stunned that they were here, in the same settlement as him and then, it made him wonder who else was there. With that thought, he looked around, spotting no other familiar face. He glared once more at the two men, who both stared back at him in just as much shock.

Swallowing, he repeated more firmly, “What are you doing here? **_Why_** the hell are you here?”

“We came looking for you Reita,” Saga finally found his voice, going towards the blonde and squeezing the shoulder firmly. “Damn, it’s good to see you.”

Shrugging the hand off, he looked to between Uruha and Saga, eyes narrowing, “is it just you two?”

“No,” Uruha shrugged, “Ruki’s here too. We wouldn’t have come looking for you in the first place hadn’t it been for him. I mean seriously, he was absolutely adamant-”

“Where the fuck is he,” Reita growled, fists clenching tightly. He couldn’t believe the nerve of the man.  What the hell were they thinking, coming and looking for me when he had wanted to leave in the first place.

“He’s resting up,” Saga answered slowly, inspecting the blonde’s face. “He’s barely slept since you’ve left, so-”

Before either could react, Reita had shoved past them both and went straight towards the motel that he knew J had put them up at. Ignoring the calls of Uruha and Saga; he felt rage and just so many other emotions. He felt absolutely dizzy from what he felt. Some of it he couldn’t understand couldn’t even begin to comprehend why he felt some of those emotions.

Shoving the door open of one of the two rooms he knew were emptied, he growled. Apparently it was the room that Uruha and Saga were sharing from the bags that had been placed on the two beds in the room. Slamming the door shut, he rushed to the next one.

Storming into the room, ready to give the brunette a piece of his mind; he came to an abrupt halt. He found the brunette sleeping soundly atop the bed; all of Reita’s anger had just fizzled out. Shoulders dropping, not understanding; he leaned against the doorframe with a heavy sigh.

Inhaling sharply, as a whirlwind of confusion just erupted inside of him. He hated that they came looking for him; that Ruki had come after him, but at the same time, it had made him feel wanted. Deep down, the blonde knew who selfish of a decision he had made but, after what had happened, he just couldn’t help but to run. Growling, he gripped his head, so confused of what he felt. This wasn’t how he had hoped things would turn out.

“Reita,” he heard Saga behind him, “c’mon. You two can talk in the morning.”

“Just,” shutting his eyes and taking a breath. Facing the two with a shake of his head, “I’m not going back.”

“Reita, he’s not the only one who wants you to come back to the group,” Uruha kept his voice lowered. Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his friend by the arm, pulled him out and shut the room door, “we all want you to come back Reita; not just him.”

“No, I can’t, I-”

“We all know the real reason why you left,” the other man grimaced, “Ruki told us. He told us about what he did and that had been the reason why you had just up and left”

 Flinching, he looked at them stunned, slowly asking, “Does Kai know too?”

“All of us,” the other blonde confirmed with a heavy sigh; he laughed, “yeah, it’s a real crazy little love triangle you guys got going on, but we’re all adults. I think we’re more than capable of handling this like adults.”

“Why did you run?” Saga asked suddenly. Glancing at the honey blonde beside him, “that’s unlike you to just, run like that.”

“I don’t know,” he sighed heavily.

Head falling back so he was gazing at the sky, he was just absolutely exhausted with the search and all he wanted to do was just sleep. This was something that could definitely wait for the morning, just too mentally worn out to answer questions. Giving both men a pat on the shoulder Reita to his own room, stripping himself of most of his clothes, he collapsed on the bed and fell asleep immediately.

~*~*~

Rolling over onto his stomach, feeling more rested than in a long time, Ruki stared at the scuffed floor of his room. Yawning, he slowly sat up, got to his feet and went to the adjoining bathroom. Staring at his reflection, even with the hours of sleep, he still had black bags beneath his eyes.

Running a hand through his mussed tangled hair, the brunette leaned over the sink to wash his face until there was a knock on his door. Huffing, he went to answer, expecting Saga or Uruha; only for it to be J. Blinking, he muttered softly, “Don’t worry; we’ll be on our way as soon as we get ready.”

“Oh, there’s no hurry,” J smiled down at the man, “I was actually wondering if you’d like to go for a walk.”

Smiling, he shook his head, “no that’s fine. My friends and I will be heading out soon.”

“Well, that’s in fact part of what I’d like to talk to you about,” the man smiled. Leaning against the doorframe with a tilt of his head, “please, I’d appreciate the company.”

Releasing a soft breath, he nodded, “fine, just let me get cleaned up.”

“Meet me by the gate when you’re ready,” J gave a nod of his head, walking off.

Frowning at the back of the man, Ruki suddenly decided there was something he didn’t like about the other; he just wasn’t sure what that was. Shutting the door, he went back to the bathroom, giving himself a quick sponge bath and dressed in fresh clothes he had packed. Lacing up his boots, someone else knocked.

Huffing, he called, “come in.”

Uruha poked his head in with a smile, “I need to tell you something and it might be a good idea to-”

“Not right now, Uru,” he sighed, getting up; grabbing his handgun and his crossbow. “I’m going out with J; I’ll be back in a bit and then we’ll head out.”

“Wait, Ruki, that’s-”

“Sorry, I got to go,” Ruki ran out of the room, running towards the gate.

“Did you tell him?” Saga man walked in having watched the brunette run out f the room.

“No,” sitting on the edge of the bed, “he ran off before I could tell him. He’s going outside of town with J.”

“There’s something I don’t like about that guy,” Saga hummed, looking towards the gate.

“You and me both,” Uruha rubbed his neck. “Well, hopefully they won’t be too long.”

Walking ahead of the man, not aware of where J had intended to lead him, Ruki led his hand over the tall wheat grass. Amazed by how a settlement of at least sixty people were able to survive. How they were able to grow so many types of produce. The walls of the settlement were very sturdy, they had access to water and they were strategically place so they had a view in every direction.

Slowly, he turned around to face the man, staring at the other hard. Going to a fallen tree and sitting, he tilted his head questioningly, “so, why did you want me to take a walk with you?”

J merely smiled at the brunette as he circled and took a seat beside the man.

Groaning softly, Reita rolled over onto his back. Staring up at the dirtied ceiling, before sitting up and letting his head drop into his hands. He had headache and he didn’t know if it was from the sleep or the emotional rollercoaster. And knowing that the headache was going to get even worse, he had to go talk with Ruki. He wasn’t sure what he’d say or the best way to react, but it needed to be done.

Standing, the blonde pulled on the nearest shirt over his head as he stepped out of his room, he immediately spotted Uruha and Saga talking animatedly with Emily. Cringing slightly, he took a deep breath and went towards the two men and woman.

“Where’s Ruki?” the blonde marine questioned avoiding the eyes of his ex-wife.

Uruha glanced at Saga with a shrug, “he and J left for a walk around the settlement.”

Brows furrowing, he gave a low demand, “how long ago did they leave?”

“Uh-Like twenty minutes ago,” Saga answered, beginning to feel anxious.

“Damn it,” he hissed, turning on his heels and rushing back to his room. Going through his belongings and grabbing his rifle and machete.

Running back out, he went to the gates, Saga and Uruha waiting for him. “What’s going on Reita? Where are you going?”

“I’m going after them,” he snapped, looking to the men atop the gate and giving a wave his hand. The men nodding and quickly opening the gates, he looked back to Saga, “get your things gathered up; we leave as soon as I bring Ruki back.”

“What the hell Reita!” Saga shouted, grabbing Reita by the arm, “what the hell is going on?”

“I just don’t want Ruki to be left alone with that ass,” pulling his arm harshly out of the grip and running through the gates.

“So, it only started out with twenty of you?” Ruki questioned surprised, indulged in the history of how the town was founded. In complete honesty, he was absolutely stunned by what J was telling him, “And from there, you welcomed other travelers in?”

“Yes,” the man nodded, “we all have our own way of holding our weight around here. Me, I’m an electrician and plumber; it’s how we’ve got running water and light.”

“I see you use your occupations to an advantage.”

“Exactly,” he nodded, staring down at the younger, “So, why are you three looking for your friend?”

“Because he’s our friend,” Ruk answered starkly, moving away slightly.

J chuckled, sitting beside the brunette, “there’s no other reason?”

Looking up quickly, biting on his bottom lip, he shrugged, “he’s got a brother and-we all think of one another as family. We need to take care of each other.”

“Noble thing to say,” the elder hummed, leaning into Ruki’s space slightly.

Noticing how close the other got, brown eyes flittered to the lips of the man, before back to the dark intense eyes. And slowly, the man leaned in closer. Eyes trained solely on the other pair and unconsciously, Ruki began to lean towards the man.

His breathing coming out in short, shallow puffs; eyes sliding shut as their lips connected. The small bit connection of lips felt wrong to him. Even with that thought, he forced himself to enjoy it. He was in need of some type of physical contact; distraction from everything.

His body had been absolutely lacking in the physical attention department, because straight away, he was aroused. He knew he should be worried about he thought of the man having a girlfriend or wife, but, he found the rational part of his mind not caring one bit. All he cared about was getting some attention out of this.

Kiss breaking, Ruki hung onto the shoulders as he was picked up and settled in the field. Their lips reconnecting, they blindingly began to try and undress each other. So lost, they didn’t hear someone coming at them; not knowing another presence until J was suddenly torn off of Ruki and tossed to the ground.

Scrambling back in surprise, the brunette began shouting, “Who the f-Reita?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” the blonde growled, going and yanking the younger off the ground harshly. Immediately looking the other over, relieved to see no scratched or marks, “you are alright?”

“I’m fine,” he pushed the hands away, “I’m fine. Noth-Nothing happened.”

“That didn’t look like nothing,” he sneered, taking Ruki by the arm and tugging him through the trees.

Yanking his arms out of the hold, wincing at the pain, Ruki rolled his eyes, “what do you care if that was nothing? I can do whatever the fuck I want, alright. I’m **_not_** your baby brother.”

Narrowing his eyes at the defiant man, Reita got right in the other’s face, “J is a taken man. He has a **_wife_** and a **_son_** ; a family that he doesn’t deserve, because he likes to **_fuck_** around. It may not mean ‘nothing’ to you, but to someone else, that means something.”

Swallowing, he looked down ashamed. Feeling his hand being taken again, he let himself be led back to the town. Keeping his head lowered as they walked through the gates, Saga and Uruha staring him worriedly and confused. He was unable to meet their eyes, because he felt like everyone knew what nearly happened.

“Get your shit,” Reita snapped, shoving the brunette into his room. “We’re leaving.”

Obediently doing what he was told, he quickly gathered his things. Stuffing it all back into his pack, Ruki suddenly stopped. He couldn’t go back. He couldn’t face Kai; it didn’t matter if he had convinced Reita to come back to the group, he couldn’t face the other.

What if him going back caused a rift between the two?

Biting his lip, he looked towards the door. No, he couldn’t go back. He couldn’t risk that happening; because if it put a rift between Kai and Reita, it would put a rift between the rest of the group. He couldn’t go back with them.

Turning to his bag, staring at the items in hand; he can’t go back. Jumping when someone suddenly knocked on his door, he called, “yeah, c’mon on in.”

“Ruki,” he heard J.

Whirling around to face the man, he shook his head, feeling disgusted with himself and even feeling annoyed with the man, “shit J, earlier- that, fuck, had I known you were married, I wouldn’t have led you on like that. Hell, I wouldn’t have even touched you.”

“So, you and Reita know each other,” he cocked a brow interested.

“Yes,” he muttered. Averting his eyes, he snorted, “yeah, but… this is the end of the line for us. I’m not going back with them.”

“Stay here then,” J offered, leaning against the doorframe. “You’re more than welcomed to stay.”

Shaking his head, quickly stuffing more of his things into the bag, he sighed, “no; I’m much better on my own. I managed to stay alive on my own since the day of the break out, so, I’m fine with it just being me.”

“It’s dangerous to be on your own,” the elder frowned.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take,” he smiled at the man, zipping his bag up.

“Well then, stay one more night,” J said offhandedly.

“No,” Reita suddenly walked in, “I think we’ve over stayed our welcome. Let’s go Ruki.”

The brunette looked up at the man; Reita was staring at him expectantly and then, he shook his head, “I can’t.”

Blinking in surprise, the ex marine restrained from shouting, “what the hell do you mean? You came all the way here to find me, you’ve found me; now let’s go.”

Shaking his head again, dropping his bag to the ground, “I **_can’t_** go back with you guys.”

Shoulders tensing at the unyielding statement, Reita growled, “Let’s go.”

“No,” Ruki snapped, “I’m **_not_** going with you guys. I can’t after everything.”

“Damn it Ruki,” snarling, he stormed further into the room; yanked the bag off the floor and gripped the brunette tightly. “If I have to drag you back kicking and screaming, then I will. Now let’s go. You are not staying here.”

“I’m not going back,” he yelled shoving the blonde back. “I’m not going. J,” he looked to the man who watched, “I’ll stay one more night and then, I’m gone.”

“Alright,” he nodded, looking to Reita with a small smirk and left.

“What the hell is your fucking problem?” the blonde roared, shoving Ruki back.

“Look,” he shoved the man back, putting as much distance between them, “I’m not going back with you guys. I sure and the hell am not staying here. Just respect my fucking decision of wanting to be out there on my own.”

Jaw and shoulders tightening, Reita snarled, “fine. I don’t fucking care! You do whatever the fuck you want; we’re leaving.”

Smiling sadly at the blonde, he nodded, “it was nice knowing you guys; take care.”

Staring at the brunette for a small amount of time, he turned and walked out. Unable to bring himself to say anything, all he felt was annoyance. Going towards the gate, finding Saga and Uruha waiting; he suddenly decided they were staying. They had to bring Ruki back.

 He stopped with a shake of his head, “we can’t leave.”

“What do mean we can’t leave?”

Uruha looked Reita and back at him, “where’s-”

“Ruki’s said he wasn’t coming with us,” he cut the other blonde off.

“Why the hell not,” Saga demanded, catching the attention of everyone one else. He lowered his voice, all them moving off to the side, “why isn’t he coming with us? Why and when the hell did he just decide he’s not coming?”

“I don’t know,” shaking his head again, turning around, “all he said was ‘he can’t’,”

“That’s not a good enough of fucking explanation,” the man hissed, walking around Reita back towards the small motel. “If we have to drag his ass back, then we’ll drag his ass back.”

“Saga wait,” he went after and grabbing him, “just let him have a moment to think it over. He’s just being irrational about all of this. Just let him think this over.”

“Fine,” sighing, Saga looked to the two blondes, “but, we are leaving in the morning; with or without him.”

“Deal,” Reita resigned himself, looking back towards the room, seeing Ruki coming out.

Later that night, it was a celebration of sorts. A newly married couple having completed their vows and now, the entire town was gathered for a large dinner. Everyone getting drunk on their own brewed alcohol, which Reita had found extremely strong; it made him wonder how nobody had died from the potent drink.

Walking around, he watched as people danced, laughed and just enjoyed themselves. Seeing all the festivities made him miss being with his brother and the others. Deep down, he found himself being thankful that the three had shown up.

“Reita,” Emily came walking towards the blonde, holding two mugs. She offered one towards her ex-husband, “What are you doing all by your lonesome self?”

Staring at the woman, he again noticed he felt no type of joy seeing her. He briefly wondered if he ever truly loved her like he believed he did.

His thoughts were suddenly broken when, she was leaned against him, nuzzling his chest. Feeling how wrong it was, he took her gently by the shoulders and held her away. The way she looked at him, he knew he should be as surprised as she was; but he wasn’t. Reaching out and brushing a few strands from her forehead, he shook his head and walked away.

“Reita?” she called.

Walking anywhere, he handed the mug off to a staggering man. Looking around, he spotted Ruki talking with a group of people; all of them laughing at something he had said. It didn’t take a genius to see that the brunette was more getting pretty tipsy off the homemade brew.

Leaning against the building, he watched him from far off. Just staring and noticing small details of the man, the way he looked down every time he smiled or giggled. The way he played with his fingers or hands, anything to keep him occupied. Reita realized that the brunette was a very shy type of drinker.

Suddenly, Reita watched as J walked to the man and slung an arm around the shoulders. Hands clenching into fists, he pushed off the wall as the man began to lead the other off, away from people. Quickening his steps, he quickly caught up with the two.

Taking Ruki by the arm, he glared at J, “I’ll take it from here; I think your wife’s looking for you.”

The man scowled, releasing Ruki slowly. Turning on his heels and walking off, leaving them.

Sighing, he looked at the side of the brunette’s face. The other wouldn’t even glance at him; licking his lips, he led the brunette back to his room. Fumbling with the body and door handle wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be, but he did manage.

Instead of walking Ruki from the door to the bed, he picked up the lighter body and took those last several steps. Setting the body on the edge of the bed, the marine looked up into the other’s face, the man still avoiding eye contact. With a heavy sigh, he decided to help the man remove some items of clothing by starting with the heavy jacket. After tossing the jacket onto the nearby chair, he kneeled to remove the heavy boots.

Having enough of the silence, he was the first to speak, “why won’t you come back Ruki?”

“I can’t,” was the slightly slurred response. Falling back onto the bed with a groan, Ruki shook his head, “I just can’t.”

Grimacing, Reita sighed, “that’s not a good enough of reason.”

Head lolling off to the side to stare at the wall, the brunette snorted, “It is for me.”

Getting back to his feet, fawn eyes gazed down on the other who still refused to look at him. So, not thinking and merely letting his body react on its own; he kneeled on the edge of the bed to hover over Ruki so that he could kiss him. Half expecting to be shoved away, only to have the action reciprocated instantaneously. A soft groan slipping, tilting his head in wordless demand, the other’s mouth opened to allow the kiss to deepen further.

The brunette moaned as he let marine taste him. Body tilting upwards into Reita’s hands desperately began to remove clothes; bodies desperate for naked contact. He sat up when the other broke the kiss to shrug off his own jacket and shirt. Pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it off somewhere, Ruki let out another moan as he was pushed back onto the bed, Reita’s mouth going to his chest.

Being pushed further into the mattress, mouths molded perfectly into another heated kiss; Ruki felt along the toned chest and stomach. Memorizing every bit of flesh, every small abrasion as his fingers slid down to the top of the pants. Deftly undoing the belt, the button and zipper; pushing the clothing off slender hips.

Moving his kisses to the slender neck, Reita sucked on every bit of flesh. Having only fantasized about being able to touch and taste Ruki like this since that night. Only his imagination didn’t do this moment any justice, it was far better than anything. The emotions that he felt made this all a hundred times finer.

In the beginning, he had been confused by the thoughts. The blonde had been utterly confused by how he had found another male attracted and so, rather than thinking on it, he was going to let himself act on it. He wasn’t ignorant to the act of sex between men; it was nerves that he was feeling as he gazed down at the necked body of Ruki.

Shaking himself of over thinking, the blonde rid the last of their clothing, the blonde quickly spat into his hand; slipping a finger into the entrance and began to prep the other. All the while he prepped the brunette, he kissed him lewdly, touching him in every way he’d wanted to. It easily keeping Ruki focused on something else entirely as he was stretched.

Thinking it was enough when the body began to press and move into the thrusting of his fingers, Reita situated himself between the legs and thrust into the body. Ruki inhaling sharply at the quick, stinging intrusion, his nails dug into the shoulders of the blonde. Stilling for a moment, catching his breath, the elder gazed in the face of the other, loving the way his expression relaxed into bliss. Leaning in for one more kiss, he began to move slowly.

The sounds that escaped Ruki were the driving force for Reita. The moans, gasps the encouragement to keep going. The way he clung to him, desperate; not wanting to let go.

“Reita,” he gasped, tightening his hold on the body, “Harder; oh god, harder.”

Lifting his head, he kissed him again. Swallowing the pleasured moans, as he kept moving into the body wantonly; groaning as their tongues wrestled. He quickened the movement of his hips; thrust becoming shallow and fast.

Ruki’s voice grew in volume; his legs came around the strong waist for better leverage to move with the blonde’s movement. Managing his eyes opened, he gazed up into the face of Reita. Reaching up and threading his fingers through the soft blonde hair, their eyes locking in an intense stare. Tilting his head to capture lips once more, he keened into the mouth as his prostate was struck sweetly.

“Ruki,” the blonde groaned, nuzzling the sweaty neck; placing kisses and bites everywhere he could reach.

Stilling, he gripped Ruki by the back of his neck, kissing him harshly. Teeth clacking slightly and some biting, he pulled out and rammed back in the body, the brunette’s head falling back with a loud pleasured cry.

Body’s slick with sweat Reita continued to move into the other and suddenly, rolling them over; growling as Ruki moved atop of him fast. Lying back against the bed, the blonde wondered what he was thinking and then, he wondered why he hadn’t given into Ruki sooner.

Rolling back over, reaching between their bodies, he grasped Ruki’s neglected arousal. Stroking him in time with his movements; stimulating the man more as he cried out louder. The man was close to his climax, he began to sweat more, his eyes squeezed tighter and goose bumps arose all over the smooth flesh.

Panting heavily, Ruki moaned loudly. Reaching down and helping Reita guide him to his orgasm. Their hands were quick and soon, he reached his end; shuddering with a hoarse scream. Faintly, he heard the blonde let out a long groan as he came right behind him, the hips of the other thrusting lazily.

Both collapsed to the bed, trying to catch their breaths. Eyes fluttering open, Ruki figured that Reita would now just get up and leave him, but, he was suddenly pulled to the man’s body. Relaxing into the hold with a content smile, he snuggled closer, uncaring of their sweaty bodies and the way they stuck.

Fingers began to leisurely play in his hair, lulling him to slumber, until Reita spoke up, “you have to come back with us.”

Biting the inside of his cheek, Ruki craned his neck to gaze at the blonde. Looking into the intense fawn eyes, he could see that Reita was serious about it; but, he himself was serious about leaving. And so, with a smile, he lied, “okay, I’ll come back.”

Smiling, he leaned in pressed a kiss to the bruised lips, “thank you.”

Looking away, he fought back the lump in his throat. He was going to enjoy this one moment; this moment that made him feel like he was in heaven. This was that moment; he’s touched his edge and for the first time, has truly felt alive.

Lightly running his finger over the chest of Reita, Ruki listened to the man’s breathing deepen and even out; he had finally fell asleep. The hold on his waist loosened slightly and he knew this would be the perfect time to go, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t ready to go.

Slowly sitting up, gazing at the sleeping man, Ruki sighed heavily. He could feel himself beginning to second guess his decision. He couldn’t though. Slipping from the warm bed, he dug through the dark for his things, dressing himself as quietly as he could.

Looking out the window, he sighed, “I’d be crazy to go in the dark.

Going to a chair and sitting in it, gazing at the man on the bed. Even after all this, he was still set on leaving. After they finally stopped fighting what they truly wanted, Ruki was going to crush it all as soon as he left. The others are going to hate him for it, but, it was for the best. At least, he believed if he kept telling himself that, it’ll be true.

Waiting for what seemed like hours, he heard the faint chirpings of birds in the distance. Getting up quickly and taking his bag from the floor, he took one last look at Reita and then walked out. Sneaking through the streets of the town, everyone, even the watch had all passed out from the nights festivities.

Running up the stairs to the top of the wall, he tied off a rope and lowered it to the ground. Giving one last look around, making sure no one was going to catch him, he climbed over the edge. Feet planted firmly against the wall, he eased his way to the bottom, dropping with a thud.

Securing his the bag on his shoulder, a quick look around, he ran off into the woods. Not knowing where he was going or what he was going to do.


	4. Part IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fawn eyes blinked open, mind waking slowly, Reita stared up at the ceiling blearily; feeling like he was still dreaming. Stretching out over the bed with a yawn, the blonde rolled onto his side to reach out for a body, only to meet with a cold empty space. He sat up immediately, not even having to look to see that Ruki’s bag was missing from its spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final installment for Leaving.

Fawn eyes blinked open, mind waking slowly, Reita stared up at the ceiling blearily; feeling like he was still dreaming. Stretching out over the bed with a yawn, the blonde rolled onto his side to reach out for a body, only to meet with a cold empty space. He sat up immediately, not even having to look to see that Ruki’s bag was missing from its spot.

Jumping out of bed to dress up quickly, he sprinted out of the room straight to Uruha and Saga’s shared room. Not bothering knocking and burst right in, startling both men awake, “Ruki’s gone! Get dressed and let’s go.”

“What” the honey blonde blinked, not completely awake. “What do you mean?”

“How do you know he’s gone,” Saga yawned, rubbing his eyes.

“Because we were together last night and now he’s fucking gone. Now get the hell up and let’s go,” he snapped, not giving them any more of an explanation.

Going back out, Reita rushed to his room, gathering his weapons and belongings. Running back out with everything, he immediately went to the gate, inspecting everything. Looking along the top of the wall, he noticed a rope that hadn’t been there before. Rushing to the top, he looked over the edge while pulling the rope up.

“God damn it, Ruki,” he growled, dropping the object and beginning to open the gates.

With loud sound of the metal scraping and Reita understood why Ruki had gone over the wall. He didn’t want anybody knowing that he was leaving. Getting outside the gates, he rushed over to the area and dropped to the ground, giving it a quick look over and he immediately spotted the prints of the younger man leading off into the woods. Adjusting the strap of his rifle, he started off towards the woods.

“Reita, wait up!” Uruha came running up behind the man, carrying his weapons, “which way did he go?”

“It looks like he headed south,” he muttered, looking through the trees.

“What the hell is going on here?” J bellowed, storming up to the men.

“None of your fucking business,” Reita snarled, taking a step towards the man, being held back by Uruha.

Uruha gave the blonde a push further back, turning back to J, “Ruki’s gone.”

The man looked between the two and then the woods, “how the hell did he leave?”

“Climbed over the wall,” sighing heavily. Reita stared intently the footprints left behind, “he couldn’t have gotten far. He’s got maybe a two hour head start; at least.”

“You got a map of the area we can use,” Saga joined them.

“Yeah,” J nodded, rushing back to his house.

~*~*~

Stopping, Ruki looked around the forest thoughtfully. He had been hiking for nearly three hours and he felt like he wasn’t getting anywhere at all. Groaning in slight annoyance, he continued to trudge slowly, becoming lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t spot the hidden ravine ahead of him. Taking a large step over a piece of tree, the ground gave way beneath his weight and he fell into the deep ravine with a shout of surprise.

Tumbling down the entire way, Ruki’s body got caught in a bad position and unintentionally, he landed on his feet. Feeling an excruciating pain going up his leg, the brunette gripped at his leg tightly after sliding to a stop, the pain shot right through the limb.

Easing himself into a sitting position, he cried out softly. Slowly beginning to lift his pants leg, pray; hoping it wasn’t broken and with every bit of movement he made, his leg felt broken. Finally getting the pants leg rolled up, he looked his leg over. It was bruised badly which only meant he more than likely fractured it. He was now going to get nowhere fast; he was a walker’s perfect meal.

“Fuck, can this get any worse,” he hissed, taking a look around.

There was no way he was going to be able to climb out; taking a deep breath, using the dirt wall as a crutch and forced himself to his feet. Whimpering, he fell against the dirt. Grimacing, he took two of his arrows, breaking off the tips. He was going to have to improvise. There was no way he’d last on his own and so now, he had no choice but to turn back.

Quickly tying the arrows to his leg tightly, Ruki got back to his feet, beginning to hobble along the dried riverbed with the help of the dirt wall. Feeling like hours had passed him by and then he heard the terrifying noise he had hoped that he wouldn’t. Freezing in his steps, trying the best he could to keep his breathing as quiet as possible. Even then though, his breathing felt loud to his ears, in his frightened state, he had shifted his footing and ended up making noise.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he slowly turned, looked up to the side of the riverbed and broke into a cold sweat. There stood more than just handful of walkers; all of them looking at him hungrily. Backing up along the wall, heart thumping wildly, Ruki turned and hobbled as fast as he could along the bank. The body of corpses immediately gave chase to him.

~*~*~

“What’s within at least two hours of here?”

“A few houses,” J began answering, pointing in a few spots on the map. Humming, he pointed to another spot, “right along this dried riverbed is an old sawmill.”

“I’m going there,” Reita declared, looking the map over quickly, memorizing it. Turning, he took his rifle and other things, heading out the gate without a word.

“Wait,” the elder man shouted, “we’ve got a quicker way than on foot.”

“What’s quicker?” Saga asked.

“Dirt bikes,” he smiled.

~*~*~

Heavily breathing, Ruki had to come to a quick stop. His leg throbbed horribly and his chest burned from the effort it took to hobble this far. Looking over his shoulder, he saw he had a good small distance between him and them, but he also wouldn’t be able to give chase much longer. His body was exhausted and in pain.

Wiping the sweat from his eyes, he forced himself forward, trying his best to ignore the pain. Stumbling, Ruki cried out; the jostling of his body hurt his leg worse. Pushing himself up, giving a quick peek over his shoulder, he continued on.

Hobbling further until he came to a part of the river he could easily climb out of, he looked around for anything to help him. Spotting the roof of a structure through the threes, he went for it. Not giving it a thought, just desperate for somewhere to hide. The brunette needed to hold out until he could get somewhere safe; he had to find someplace safe.

Coming over the small ridge, he looked down at an old mill. Catching his breath for a moment, he maneuvered his way down the side of the hill, careful to keep his footing. Ruki reached the bottom and moved as quickly as he could towards the building, only to skid to a stop as he saw walkers coming from the side at the noise he created.

“Fuck,” he gasped, doing his best to sprint towards the door.

Yanking and pulling on the door with all he had, he managed it open. Slipping in, he turned and quickly tried to shut it, the undead grabbing at the door, pulling on it. Cursing, Ruki reached down, pulling his knife from it’s sheathed and stabbed one of the zombies through the forehead. Kicking it back with his good leg, he got the door to close the rest of the way.

Turning around to inspect the building, he found no other walkers. Dropping his arms to his side with relief, he went towards the stairs to find someplace he could hold out for awhile. Hobbling up them as quick and silently as he could, when he got to the landing, he went straight towards the office. In search for anything that could be of use.

Just as he reached the door, he heard loud cracks. Freezing, he peeked over the railing; the dead had broken through another door. Feeling the chance of surviving slipping from his grasp, he went for the closet beside the windowed office.

The sounds of his feet across the heavy steeled landing announced the dead of his whereabouts; they came up the stairs fast. Ruki picked up his pace, barely reaching the closet as he was grabbed from behind. Shoving the body back with a shove of his elbow and he brought his knife up to thrust it into skull. Giving another shove and stabbed at another, the brunette tried slamming the door shut.

The bodies tried their hardest to shove their way through. But, he wasn’t going to give up. He put his good leg up against the doorframe as a source of some kind of leverage. It becoming a life and death tug a war, fighting with the walkers to shut the door. And then, he felt the most unbearable pain in his arm.

Screaming out in agony and horror, he watched a dead woman take big chunk out of his arm. His blood on the walker’s face distracted the others long enough for Ruki to slam the door shut and lock it from the inside. Stumbling back against the shelves, he whimpered and cried softly as he cradled his arm to his chest.

Dropping to the ground, staring through the dim lighting of the small closet, he watched blood pour from the bite wound. Squeezing his eyes shut, he put pressure to the bite; knowing how futile it was to even trying to stop the bleeding. He was as good as dead with his busted up leg and now, the bite wound on his arm.

Head falling back, he slowed his breathing; calming his rapidly beating heart with his last blissful memory. He deserved this. After everything, Ruki felt like he deserved this. Because now, he’s come face to face with death, he feels a sense of peace.

Whimpering again, as he cradled his arm close to his chest, Ruki stared at the door. There was no sense in hiding or keeping himself locked in here. If he did that, he would just end up like the poor bastards out there. He didn’t want to become that.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, he looked at his knife and then, his handgun. Taking the clip out, he looked at the bullets. Trying to remember how many he had left and try to save one for himself. He wasn’t going to turn into one of them.

A deep breath he got to his feet, wiping his bloody hands off onto his jeans, Ruki took a deep breath and readied himself. Taking a step towards the door, staring hard at the handle, hearing the groans and dull pounding on the door, he steeled himself for the outcome. The outcome he doesn’t survive.

“If I’m dying, I’m taking as many of you fucker’s with me,” Ruki growled, reaching out and slowly unlocking the door.

One last breath, he shoved the door open and taking two unsteady quick steps back, he watched them force their way into the cramped space. Firing off one round at a walker, kicked it back with a pained grimaced and stabbed at another; gasping as one grabbed him by the arm. He instinctively squeezed the trigger, lodging a bullet between its eyes.

Not able to get his foot back, he slipped on one of the bodies and fell back. The last three undead were on him in a moment, tearing into him with their teeth. Screaming out as one bit into his thigh, Ruki desperately tried holding off on the one snapping at his throat.

Crying out again when a second tore into his side; Ruki could feel his body going into shock. No longer having the strength to keep fighting off the one above him, it fell right atop of him, teeth dug in along the shoulder; the pain wracking through his entire body. Forcing screams of agony out of him.

Body seizing with the pain and the amount of blood loss, he could only stare up at the ceiling, arms falling off to the side of him limply. His breathing coming out in short pants, his body was in shock in a second; no longer was there pain, just a coldness that swelled up through him. Not realizing that the three undead had been torn from his body.

“No, fuck no; fuck, fuck,” Reita exclaimed in alarm, staring down at the torn body of Ruki. Hand hovering above the trembling, bleeding flesh, “no, no; God damn it Ruki. God fucking damn it; why the hell did you leave.”

Swallowing back the lump, he gently took the bloodied face of the brunette, turning the head towards him. The brown eyes were wide, unshed tears shining. Reita gently patted and caressed the pale cheek of Ruki, the only thing he could do. There was no saving the other; they had been too late.

The way the man was breathing in short desperate pants, it broke something in the marine; Ruki’s body desperately fighting to live. But he could see that Ruki had given into his fate. And then, his pants began to slow, almost like a heart monitor. The brown eyes slowly began to lose light and the pupil dilated gradually.

“Shit Ruki, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Reita whispered, pressing a kiss to the forehead. With a few more small breaths, Ruki’s body quieted. Every part of the body went limp and the man looked nothing more than like a lifeless, bloody doll.

“Reita,” Saga spoke up softly, nudging Ruki’s forgotten handgun against the shoulder of the blonde.

Sitting back on his heels, he took the weapon. Staring blankly at the body of the man, he chambered a bullet. Biting his lip, he tilted his head just a bit but did not look at the three men, “leave.”

Swallowing, Saga looked to J and Uruha, who looked as uncomfortable with the request as he felt, “alright.”

Listening to their steps lead away from the closet, the blonde looked back at the dead body. Reaching out and brushing away sweaty bangs, he shook his head. He wanted to say something but, his words would only fall on deaf ears. His words wouldn’t matter to anyone.

Putting his hand over the dull eyes, he placed the gun to the temple. Hand beginning to shake, grip tightening, Reita trailed his finger along the trigger. He knew what he was supposed to do but it almost felt impossible.

Squeezing his eyes shut, keeping the tears back, he whispered once more, “I’m sorry.”

A loud gunshot echoed through the saw mill; it slowly fading into silence.


End file.
